Emotions 101

[Click here to download a copy of the Emotional Processing Technique.]

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What is an emotion?

Emotion is energy, or it can be described as “Energy in Motion”.  Emotions are your paintbrush to paint your canvas of life.  Emotions are our friend and they are how we express our energy.  Emotions show us where something is out of alignment with our true nature, when we're suffering, and keeps us on track by signaling when we need to check in with our heart.  Emotions are our guide.  We use the energy of emotions, expressed through our physical bodies, to manifest our intentions.

There are two types of emotions: Love and Fear

Draw a line and write love on one side and fear on the other.  Under the love category write joy, happiness, peace, compassion, freedom, allowance, acceptance, willingness, support, confidence, playful, worthy, and trust.  On the fear side write anger, guilt, sad, rage, resentment, anxiety, depression, hurt, shame, pissed off, sabotage, abandonment, unworthiness, betrayal, and shame.  We express or suppress our emotional energy choosing love or fear.  Each day we make thousands of choices based on love or fear.

Are you choosing loving emotions, or fearful emotions?  Notice how you are feeling right now and put a word to it.  If you are feeling a fear-based emotion, ask yourself why am I feeling this way?

What happens when an emotion gets expressed

When an energy/emotion gets expressed, it moves; energy is fluid.  When an energy/emotion gets suppressed it causes stress in the body and can cause physical pain and serious illness.  Think about when you are angry how your hold that energy in your body, and where you hold it.  Ask yourself where am I feeling this in my body?  Negative emotions that are felt and released is natural healing; feeling the pain is healing it.

Beliefs and emotions shape our reality

Our beliefs and our emotions determine how we shape our reality.  We manifest our desires with our emotions and our beliefs.  Through conditioning, most of us have learned ways to repress, hide, or set aside our emotions.  Emotions trigger thoughts, which trigger more emotions; these thoughts are attached to a belief that you no longer resonate with and that wants to make itself known to you.  A simple self-inquiry will break the endless cycle, which is easy to get caught up in.

Emotions are your tool for liberation

Using our emotions as a tool for clearing old wounds is a simple yet very powerful technique.  Every time you are experiencing a negative emotion, you have the opportunity to claim another part of you into wholeness and joy.  The key here is to acknowledge your feelings; you are the only person that can do anything about how you feel.  Are you expecting your partner to acknowledge how you feel?  Are you being this attentive with yourself?  This process will empower you into being response-able for your own feelings and takes you out of a victim role.  Just think about this:  who's responsible for you feeling anger anyway?  If you are pointing the finger at anyone else, you are giving your power away to them, or the situation that you are angry at.  Take ownership now and claim your power.  Own your feelings, all of them.

What is processing

“Processing is a form of self-inquiry—a way of looking at our egoic self.  “Ego” refers to the personality structure, which results from childhood and worldly conditioning.  The term “to process” means to examine and to inquire deeply into the nature of our conditioned and unbalanced egoic programming with the intention of moving our awareness into balance and truth.  We process our consciousness in order to become clear and ultimately to find our wholeness.”

~Leslie Temple-Thurston~  Excerpt from “Returning to Oneness the Seven Keys of Ascension”

How Men and Women have been conditioned

When we suppress our emotions, those very emotions are amplified through a continuous feedback cycle.  I find this conditioning to be true for a lot of Men in our society; they have been raised and conditioned not to show their feelings, to suppress their emotions and feelings, not connecting to their heart space mainly because of the belief system that it is not normal for a man to cry, or show his feelings.  The opposite is true, when we show our feelings and process our emotions, this makes us strong and honors ourselves.  Men have also been conditioned to suck it up, get on with it, and be strong.  Men have feelings and need to express them, maybe not as emotional as women, but men do like to talk about their feelings.  Unexpressed emotions can lead to rage, wars, violence, physical illness, and all kinds of behaviors that are destructive.

Women, who by nature are very emotional beings, have been conditioned to not show their feelings and put on a good face.  Be strong, do not cry, it's not safe to express and share our feelings with each other.  Unexpressed emotions in Women can cause depression, powerlessness, victimization, anger, rage, and physical illness in the body.  This has also caused Women to deny their own power and strength.

Handful of core wounds

There are really only a handful of core emotional wounds that are attached to beliefs we have about ourselves.   We keep repeating the same patterns and are having some of the same experiences over and over again.  It's critical that we are in Emotional Balance; feeling neutral or experiencing bliss.  Our Beliefs and Emotions have to be in congruency with each other to manifest our intentions.  Through my own emotional work and work with others, I have experienced and cleared all core wounds on this list.  I have never met anyone that had more than 1 or 2 core issues.

You might identify with one or more of these feelings:

To best clear these core wounds, they have to be felt and cleared out of the emotional body.  These wounds can be very painful to feel, but it will pass.  Emotion is an energy and once it is felt and expressed, it moves through, creating space for more vitality and light to enter.  Feeling it is healing it.  Take comfort in knowing you will release this wound once and for all.  I have found that being a victim has never caused me to feel deep emotional pain; however, being a victim is also a core wound that needs to be addressed.

Every event is neutral

Every event is neutral; this is your natural state.  If you get triggered, it is always an issue from the past that needs to be addressed, felt, and acknowledged.  This is part of an old wound that is crying out for you to love it, release it, and let it go.

Your buttons are pushed...

If you are being triggered emotionally by something or someone, you are likely feeling upset, angry, hurt, withdrawn, or depressed.  That is your first clue to pay attention to how you feel.

Now you have the perfect opportunity to clear this emotion/feeling.  Know this:  anytime you are emotionally triggered by something, it is always, always something from your past.  It is never from the present moment.  If you did not have a wound there, or feel an emotional charge there, you would not feel that much pain or anger.  Think about when you are angry; where do you hold that energy in the body?  Should you change how you feel?  First, there is no “should”.  You cannot change how you feel; how you feel is how you feel.  This needs to be honored and acknowledged no matter what.

“Appreciate your triggers.  Appreciate what and whom triggers you. To highlight our pathways to greater wholeness, is a great gift.”
Meredith Murphy

How to accept responsibility for your emotions

First, by choosing you have the ability to respond.

Secondly, stop blaming, projecting, and judging others.  Stop pointing the finger at them, saying they are doing this to you; this is keeping you the victim role.  When each person accepts responsibility for their own feelings, you will share all of yourself from a non-judgmental, empowered space.  Can you imagine what would happen on earth if everyone took responsibility for how they feel?  Every single emotion has been deposited onto this earth like trash.  One of the most empowering things you can do is accept responsibility for how you react.  Stop the cycle.

My intention here is to offer you this simple yet very effective empowerment tool that you can use on a daily basis to clear yourself and transform issues very fast if you are willing to be conscious and feel your emotions (energy) fully, accept responsibility for your own feelings, and stop reacting to what triggers you and projecting it out on someone or something else.  This is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself; choose to use your emotions as a tool to clear and liberate yourself into wholeness.  "YOU" are your own "Guru"; nobody else can do this for you.

How to cope with your emotions and anger

You need to know how you cope and how you express your energy.  Do you deny or suppress your emotions (saying you’re fine, but feel like exploding)?  Do you choose to hold on to it and not express it?  Do you carry it around like dead weight (the world on your back)?  Are you feeling really tired all the time?  Do you dump on another or blame someone else for how you feel?  Knowing the answer to these questions will give insight into how you work with the energy.  How do you express your energy?

When you get emotional what do you do?

What is your coping strategy?  Do you go shopping, eat or overeat, drink or do drugs, clean the house, or be really busy to avoid looking at what you are feeling?  Do you go to the gym and exercise like crazy, or go back to work so you don't have to think (feel) about what’s up for you.  What do you do to avoid yourself?

What to do with your emotions

You have to be willing to go in and feel the pain.  Feeling it is healing it.  Is it going to be uncomfortable?  Yes, it is.  You have to be willing to feel the discomfort and the pain.  When you do; this emotion has now been felt and expressed, it naturally moves through now and creates space for new things to come into your life.  If you are willing to take ownership for what you are feeling, you will empower yourself right before your eyes.  Your life is about to change from being a victim to a powerful co-creator.  Are you ready to really get how powerful you are?

Processing technique

Click here to download the processing technique. This is what I use on myself and my clients.  Once you learn how to process, this is your golden ticket to liberation.  Make a commitment to accept responsibility for how you feel and for what shows up in your experience as your creation. You can also watch a video here as I take someone through the process.

Get yourself a witness

In the beginning when you are just getting started, get yourself a witness to cry to, talk to, or vent to.  It is so important to get the energy out; scream, jump up and down, get mad, get angry, or vent.  Knowing you are clearing this is part of the therapy.  You would not want to stay in the story and repeat the same thing over and over again.  Just be really present and get everything out.  Who can be your witness?  A really good friend you trust, or someone who can hold the space.  Set this up for yourself ahead of time and communicate to your witness what you need your witness to do.  You do not want to go to someone who can't stand to see you cry or who will tell you everything is going to be fine.  The most important thing is that you get to express all of your energy and the witness simply witnesses YOU.

How to be a witness

Listen, Listen Listen!  Do not try to fix the person or situation, and do not multitask.  Sit and allow the person to express their pain/emotion/energy.  Don't try to tell the person what to do, or try to fix their situation.

Offer your full presence; everyone wants to get gotten.  Hold a non-judgmental, compassionate space.  Allow the person to express/cry and get it all out; allow them to move all the energy out.  Then you can ask questions such as:  How does that make you feel?  (click here for the processing technique questions)

Daily processing

Once you begin clearing your emotions on a daily basis, you will notice how much more joyful you are and how simple it really is; feeling your feelings.  You will begin to notice when you are feeling off and ask yourself why am I feeling off?  What is this about for me?  Checking in with yourself will result in you feeling powerful and free.  Every situation in our life and every experience is there by our creation.  Taking ownership for everything that shows up has you on the path to emotional liberation and freedom.

Happy processing and thank you for the work you are doing on yourself; this will ripple out and affect everyone.

[Click here to download a copy of the Emotional Processing Technique.]